{"title":"CHLOROFORM PERFUME","description":"\u003cp\u003elive for \u003cstrong\u003epre-order\u003c\/strong\u003e for one week or so, maybe two - tentatively ends 2\/27 \u0026lt;3\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"mr-bean-if-you-know-what-i-bean","title":"MR. BEAN - IF YOU KNOW WHAT I BEAN","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis is a Mr. Bean enamel pin that I made again in like 2015 or something. Found a handful while cleaning, and here they are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e1.5\" soft enamel\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eedit 2\/20\/26 - I’ve been trying to sell these for 9 years now, and I’m not even close to sold out. I cannot believe this shit. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ethis feels personal now, it’s a decade long grievance toward everybody reading this, buy the goddamn \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/heelest.com\/products\/behold-the-bean-t-shirt-pre-order\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Mr Bean shirt, longest pre-order in global history, zero sales in 2 years\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"\u003eshirt\u003c\/a\u003e and the pin too - you must have a friend who knows who he is - I’m not going to stop pushing Mr Bean alongside whatever band you’re here for, I don’t care, buy this instead, one day I will never drop merch again if you don’t lIke Mr Bean, and do not tell me if you don’t like Mr Bean, you don’t know shit \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Heelest","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":46042433716522,"sku":"","price":12.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0811\/1711\/8762\/files\/beanpin.png?v=1692147148"},{"product_id":"behold-the-bean-t-shirt-pre-order","title":"BEHOLD, THE BEAN - T-SHIRT *UPDATE: GUINNESS BOOK OF WORLD RECORDS ATTEMPT FOR LONGEST PRE-ORDER IN HISTORY*","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e*world's longest pre-order attempt*\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eavailable until 10 are sold, undetermined length, hopefully about a week or two, maybe a year or a decade, no idea anymore\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eupdate about 1 year later 1\/16\/26 - i've sold zero, this is unbelievable and unprecedented  - please just buy this immediately instead of what you're planning to cop - i'll do whatever you want, i will bail you out of this, if you're in legal trouble, don't even stress, i'll get a law degree or get you out of there easily\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eupdate 2\/20\/26 - this is now an attempt to get in the Guinness Book of World Records, i need to finesse my own wikipedia spot; my grandpa is the only one in my family with a wiki. he was the governor of fiji but a colonial governor, and i don't want that to be the only wiki within my family, so this must work - redefining my last name at this point (yes, this is true, no i'm not lying, i don't want colonial governor of fiji attached to my last name)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ei'll send you a 5-10 minute thank you video privately or publicly, up to you\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eif you order this with a pre-order, it’ll ship separately (domestic only) - that means whatever you order won't take as long as this is taking - i am begging you\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eedit: i have no idea when this will ship, but hopefully one day\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003edon’t sleep, closes without a ‘last call’ notice, no reprints - this is crazy, let's go - how do you guys not fw Mr. Bean at all (update 1\/16\/26) - holy shit \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eupdate 2\/20\/26: literally none of you care about mr. bean, haven't you seen rat race at least? should i run that to boost this?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003ethere is no guarantee you'll get what you ordered at this point\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eships about 4 weeks after the pre-order closes (who cares)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003escreen printed on y̶o̶u̶r̶ my choice of comfort colors 1717 or shakawear max heavyweight garment dye or gildan hammer (i'm not doing gildan hammer, nor am I updating this to reflect that, just order it for a friend i don't care anymore, mr. bean is a global legend and you definitely have a friend that will want it, just order it, good god, i am begging you)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003efree sticker with every order (just order this shirt, do not expect anything extra)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ei have never had to push for sales like this, or even close to it, for the 3 years I've been doing this. my dad was from the UK, and i watched Mr. Bean instead of American TV, that is how I grew up, and i do not understand what is wrong with all of you, or me - the man is a global icon, have you even seen Bean: the Ultimate Disaster Movie from 1997? have you not bothered to even try to understand somebody so important to everybody in the world? the man is a literal alien. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e*\u003cem\u003esizes 3-4xl may be substituted to a different blank depending on availability (highly unlikely; almost certainly unlikely; it'll be printed on whatever i can afford if this ever reaches 10 sales)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e*photos are mock ups and will be represented to the best of my ability, \u003c\/em\u003e\u003cem\u003emock up is a size small for print reference (please for the love of god, order this - forget everything you're here for, prioritize this shirt)\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e*performance art\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cem\u003e*update 4\/20\/26: this is essentially a tip jar, there is no guarantee you'll get what you ordered anymore in 4 weeks or 4 years or beyond \u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Doctor of Fishes","offers":[{"title":"small \/ black \/ comfort colors","offer_id":49735360282922,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"small \/ black \/ shakawear","offer_id":49735360315690,"sku":null,"price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"small \/ black \/ gildan hammer","offer_id":49735360348458,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"medium \/ black \/ comfort colors","offer_id":49735360676138,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"medium \/ black \/ shakawear","offer_id":49735360708906,"sku":null,"price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"medium \/ black \/ gildan hammer","offer_id":49735360741674,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"large \/ black \/ comfort colors","offer_id":49735361069354,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"large \/ black \/ shakawear","offer_id":49735361102122,"sku":null,"price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"large \/ black \/ gildan hammer","offer_id":49735361134890,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"x-large \/ black \/ comfort colors","offer_id":49735361462570,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"x-large \/ black \/ shakawear","offer_id":49735361495338,"sku":null,"price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"x-large \/ black \/ gildan hammer","offer_id":49735361528106,"sku":null,"price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2xl \/ black \/ comfort colors","offer_id":49735361855786,"sku":null,"price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2xl \/ black \/ shakawear","offer_id":49735361888554,"sku":null,"price":38.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2xl \/ black \/ gildan hammer","offer_id":49735361921322,"sku":null,"price":30.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3xl \/ black \/ comfort colors","offer_id":49735362249002,"sku":null,"price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3xl \/ black \/ shakawear","offer_id":49735362281770,"sku":null,"price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3xl \/ black \/ gildan hammer","offer_id":49735362314538,"sku":null,"price":31.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4xl \/ black \/ comfort colors","offer_id":49735362642218,"sku":null,"price":35.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4xl \/ black \/ shakawear","offer_id":49735362674986,"sku":null,"price":39.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"4xl \/ black \/ gildan hammer","offer_id":49735362707754,"sku":null,"price":32.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0811\/1711\/8762\/files\/CC9ECC4E-0B12-4660-8A3E-F618EC644769.png?v=1734568011"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0811\/1711\/8762\/collections\/fata-collection-photo-tbyb.png?v=1771584428","url":"https:\/\/heelest.com\/collections\/chloroform-perfume.oembed","provider":"Heelest","version":"1.0","type":"link"}